SGA Thanks and Forgiveness
by Laheara
Summary: Set between Seige 1&2 after McKay returns to Atlantis but before the control room scene in pt 2. McKay and Sheppard talk about the wrongs they’ve committed this past year


Title: Thanks and Forgiveness

Author: Laheara

Spoilers: All of Season 1.

Category: H/C

Summary: Set between Seige 1 and 2 after McKay returns to Atlantis but before the control room scene in pt 2. McKay and Sheppard talk about the wrongs they've committed this past year.

Disclaimer: I don't own Atlantis I just play.

Thanks and Forgiveness

McKay and started to play the tape Ford had given him back. He had brattled on for a long time about nothing really. The only good stuff in there was his message to Jeannie. He remembered feeling out of it due to lack of sleep but didn't think he was that out of it.

"Leadership. What can I really say about it if you think about it. I can't believe I nearly killed Carson.

"McKay you're not the only one that gets to feel guilty about your actions you know."

McKay stopped and looked at Sheppard as he leaned against the door of McKay's lab. "What do you have to be guilty about? You're Mr. Save-the-Day Sheppard. You've gotten us out of more trouble then I can remember."

Sheppard smiled but it wasn't from amusement as he slide off the door and walked into the lab coming closer to Rodney. "And I've gotten you into trouble too."

McKay cocked his head at him, "What do you mean?"

"During the storm, when you got that bruise on your back, it was because of me. I made Kolya go nuts because I killed his men and he nearly threw you into the sea. I was so angry because I thought he killed Elizabeth and I nearly got you killed too. Then I would have lost two people I care about instead of just one."

Rodney smiled slightly at the insinuation that Sheppard cared about him and subconsciously rubbed his lower back where the deep bruise had only just headed. He seemed lost in memory for a moment and then snapped out of it when Sheppard started talking again.

"And, in case you've forgotten, I woke the Wraith and now they are coming to Atlantis to kill us all."

McKay went quiet and thought for a moment, he was right he had but… "Well yes, there is that but it wasn't your fault. You just saw the female Wraith kill Col. Sumner and threaten you and you…"

"…wanted revenge." Sheppard sat on a stole on the other side of the table from Rodney.

Rodney made a confused face like he didn't understand the Major's reasoning, "Revenge? I don't see how…"

"She killed my commander, her people captured all those people and were going to eat them. I was angry and I wanted revenge and I didn't think there could be ramifications until it was too late."

McKay still didn't look convinced. "But you saved them all, you couldn't save Sumner but you eased his suffering and you've been a good commander to his men ever since."

Sheppard smiled again and looked down playing with something on the table. "That may be true, but do the ends justify the means? I woke the Wraith, now they are running around the galaxy kidnapping and killing people 50 years earlier then they should have. There are people in this generation, like Jinto, who would never of seen the Wraith if it weren't for me. And now they are going to destroy Atlantis and kill everyone here that I care about because I couldn't control myself for one moment."

Rodney had never been good at situations like this, he always seemed to say something that made it worse and got the other person angry or more sad. He opened his mouth a couple of time to start a sentence but then realized it sounded stupid and closed it again. Fortunately Sheppard didn't notice as he was still playing with the Ancient device before him. It had activated when he touched it and seems to change color with his mood. McKay had noticed this attribute in the device also and just watched it change colors as it sensed both of their depression.

"Well, we all know what you did was for a good reason and you didn't break any big unwritten rules, unlike me."

Sheppard looked up at this to see McKay slouching in his seat, "What do you mean?"

McKay took a breath and sighed, "The rule that you follow so closely we've all come to expect your actions around. The one where you don't leave someone behind."

McKay turned away for and pretended to sneeze but Sheppard wasn't fooled for a second. "McKay you didn't have time to go back for Peter, the Wraith were to close."

Rodney shook his head, "No we had time, they took at least fifteen minutes to pass by before it fired. We had lots of time to get in there in stealth mode and save him but we didn't because I was…"

Rodney couldn't say it although he had no trouble thinking it about himself. Sheppard sensed this and finished the sentence, "…being smart by not risking anyone else and you knew it was what he wanted."

Rodney shook his head, "No, we had spent hours on that thing going over the power systems, I should have seen something as important as the power to the docking ring. I rerouted the power and locked Peter in there to die, I should have been able to find a way around it."

"Rodney you can't second guess yourself at a time like that, you had the entire fate of Atlantis in your hands. You found a transfer that worked and you went with it to save time."

"But I KILLED PETER!" Rodney said out of breath and with teary eyes.

Sheppard stood up and walked around to meet Rodney and put a hand on his shoulder, "No, the Wraith killed Peter. You bought Atlantis and all of us a few extra hours and took out one of the threats coming here. This time the ends do justify the means."

"But…"

"No buts." Rodney went to speak again and Sheppard raised a finger to silence him. "I know I can't speak for Peter, but as for myself, I understand what happened and I forgive you."

Rodney looked at his friend like a huge weight had been removed from his shoulders. Rodney settled back into his seat again and Sheppard watched him until he was sure he was ok.

As Sheppard turned to watch out Rodney called to him, "Major?"

Sheppard stopped and turned back, "Yeah Rodney?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he smiled and turned again toward the door.

"I know I can't speak for Sumner, but I believe he wanted you to end it for him like you did. And I can't speak for the people in this generation that have to face the Wraith early, but I know why you did what you did. I forgive you."

Sheppard stopped dead in his tracks but didn't turn back around. His shoulders slumped and let our a breath and lowered his head. Then he took a deep breath and stood up straight again. "Thanks Rodney."


End file.
